Hello my beautiful souls!
December is a month when we spend more time with our families and I wanted to take an opportunity to remind you of some things...
We have so many friends and family members that have been in our lives for years... yet, if you are like most of the people there are many of them with whom you have more or less just surface level conversations. I know you might argue that that's the only way how you can connect with them, but I challenge you to look at it from a different perspective.
I value family connections above anything. I believe that family is the foundation of anything that we want to experience and achieve. It all starts there. However, the connections with family members can also be the most triggering of all. Therefore, many people avoid spending too much time with their family members and prefer to keep the save distance.
I'm not going to say that distance is not important. However, so it's closeness.
Whether we like it or not, we share the same kind of insecurities, limitations and fears that our family. And that's also the biggest reason why they are able to push the most painful buttons for us.
But do you really believe that the way to overcome these triggers is to avoid them?
To act like everything is great for that one Christmas day and then keep on avoiding their company?
You know the answer.
And I also know that it's not easy to admit it to ourselves.
But once we do, we gain the power to change it. If you wonder how, I'm willing to share with you my personal story and I hope it inspires you to.
When I moved back to Slovenia exactly 1 year ago, I've came to live in my parents house after living abroad fro 5 years. One thing I said to myself immediately as I arrived: "I'm staying for a month or so only, then I'm either moving abroad again or getting my own apartment."
Firstly, it was so good to not live by myself only. There was always something going on, we had so much to share with each other and it was all festive since it was December. However, the triggers started to show up more and more often.
Next month, I've started to search for apartments but everything felt so off. The more I was meditating and connecting with myself, the more I heard that voice that I should just stay. I love the house we live in and I'm in love with the area. We live on the top of the hill, surrounded by forest and lots of nature. It's so peaceful and quiet here. And all the apartments that I've found would be the total opposite.
So I asked myself... Why do I want to force this move?
The answer was simple... To avoid the triggers and be left on my own.
And then a thought that have changed everything popped up in my head:
"Do I want to set an example for my future children that by any means they have to avoid their parents? That it's okey to run away when they feel triggered?"
That's what made me look at the situation differently.
Since I've spent many years working on my childhood traumas and clearing my limiting beliefs and patterns... now it was an opportunity for me to actually resolve them together with my parents. I'm a firm believer that by doing so, I help the next generations more than I could ever with my physical actions. Because all the unresolved patterns and limitations will show up again, when I'm at the place of being a parent.
That observation forever shifted my perception.
So... how did the year go?
I'm still at my parents place and we have the best connection we ever had. I've slowly started to opening up and share with them (separately) how their certain actions influenced my perception about myself. I explained to them the meaning that I've attached to certain situations and even though the sharing wasn't easy, their explanation of why they acted a certain way made so much sense! By knowing and understanding their story I was able to forgive them and believe them when they said how much I mean to them. It opened up a new level of love and acceptance that I've felt. And it made us connect deeper than ever. We started to operate as a team again.
I'm not saying I'll never leave home, because I'm certain I will. Yet, I don't have the urge to run away anymore and I know that I'll leave when the timing is perfect and it feels aligned with my soul.
What I've realized is that the most important part of trying to resolve family relationships is to first resolve it within yourself. Coming out with resentment and hatred will do more harm than good. It takes a lot of compassion and understanding to make it through.
How can this be done?
The best and most efficient way are guided healings. To deal with the emotions behind, it's important to understand the bigger picture and heal that inner child that was experiencing the trauma. All you need is to be willing.
I needed quite some healings this year :) And at the same time, I also assisted many of my clients with helping them resolved family patterns. And now I think about it... What a blessing. To think about how many families will have a deeper and more loving connection while sitting at the Christmas dinner this year, makes my heart so so grateful. This is definitely the most rewarding part of my work <3
Since it's a festive time, I've decided to offer my individual healing session at special rate. If you feel called to work on your family relationships, feel free to reach out to [email protected] and I'll be happy to assist you.
P.s.: A lot of times I get asked how can some traumas be resolved in case a person connected with them is not present with us in a physical form anymore. The answer is the same: through guided healings. That person still lives within us and we have the capacity to connect with them through out thoughts and emotions. Resolving the situation in that way can bring the same shift in energy together with inner peace and satisfaction. I deeply recommend it.
Hope this inspires you and makes you aware of the importance of these connections.
I wish you a lovely week!